Life inside a life


Life Inside a Life

And creatures will fall, they’ll moan & cry

All that moment lives in tiny another try

Perhaps it blinks when we talk with ourselves with doing nothing; look through a blur and shining fissure by standing as a sole, wonder with hope. Wish for the drop of rain that fills our shingly heart with highest level of glee or sweet disturbance or may be between that…

I was checking my blog for last one year almost and wrote nothing… watching my words are inhaling through so many eyes… as if I said words of our hearts…there was no me over here…it was us…what made me delighted is my absence did not make those words out of visitors or words of appreciation. It means we like to hope, we still want to make things better, we like to follow our dreams, we like to taste the sweetest part of life….

I was traveling for so long…with my borrowed broken camera in hand and notebook in pocket…trying to be as little I could be, in a sense of human, with pride of no man. I was searching for nothing to make me satisfied or bring me a mountain of success. I preferred to be people, walk along with the crowd, try not be choosy, not to complain, be with everyone to be with me…Life is different everywhere, that’s why all the different things bring me to the same idea.

Over the Hills & Far Away

I was on the road,

On the street of unknown villagers,

I stepped with naked feet on the mud, a sound of it…

Even I closed my eyes when wind and dust were playing,

I saw the children were singing on the lap of life,

I smelled the poor lunch of a farmer,

His eyes were smiling to his wife while he was eating,

Their love was greener than the field I ran yesterday,

I ran from the rain to save my backpack,

& I was smiling over & over again,

I grasped at the broken country road which still reaches the sky,

Far…Far away….

I saw my face on the water, it was moving

I discovered the thin line that lies between green and blue,

I heard how the night sounds, it’s not so silent

I sat on an unknown vehicle where 3 men shared 2 men’s seat

I heard its roar, the engine was visible

I noticed the strangers were laughing,

I learnt to make friends from strangers, it’s so easy

I was distorted with the beauty I can’t inhale

I cried for the tiny bird, it fell from the tree

We could not save her life

I told many jokes, they were erotic

I saw them to laugh a loud

I left myself, & became them

& they became me…

I was on the road…

It was life inside a life…

No Direction Home

The best part of living is when you are on the road…with “NO DIRECTION HOME
It gives you the beauty of vision, smell of being lost, shadow of your life, color of your smile, sad inability of holding things, happiness of leaving behind, truth of your light and song of your innocence…

Country, People, family, Friends, lovers, ever known streets, known shopkeepers, almost same faces everyday, walking in the colorful crowd, unknown smiling faces…. is life. All these things scheduled with time which can be another name of life.

The Folklore

 
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Studio de Śami

“Prefer Living, not surviving”

Thank you.

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Dream sings…reality listens


La Rochelle, Allons En France 2010

This world is not strong enough to bind our dreams… as well see them come true. So many things change our lives whether good and bad but always it gives something for sure….

There’s a difference between movie and life… we know when the story starts and somehow it’s gonna reach to the end… this is uncertain in life… we discover it late that life has already started and never know when it reaches to the end….

I know my blogger friends were waiting for long to see the end of the story that I was carrying with me…

Yes!! I won the competition “Allons En France 2010” from Bangladesh!!! I was awarded a 10 days trip to France where I met 170 mates from 90 different countries… Standing with the whole world….

July 7th to July 17th, not a dream cause my eyes were hardly closed or It was like an illusion from where a person forgets to neither look back nor front.

Think, Being friend with unfamiliar streets but not sensing they are not yours, seeing so many unknown smiling faces looking at you & discovering yourself smiling as well, swallowing anonymous foods with a funny face and saying “It’s nice”, finding so strange when you see the golden evening sky after 9:00PM, being in hundred people wearing same t-shirt and screaming in one voice, sharing your deepest secret with the person you didn’t know before 5 minutes, Calling people by their names you hardly can pronounce, talking with your own by standing in front of Eiffel tower that you only saw in pictures or movies or finding so hard to say Good bye to the friends who were your family for last 10 days that gave you touch of thousand years….

But those flying clouds painted on the blue sky seemed very familiar to me; they gazed me like they followed from my native hanging window. I heard the wind blow also whispers over there, as they do always on my way back to home; I saw the sleeping child and the beloved glance of his mother at the metro, even I saw little girl to collect cute snails on the seashore of La Rochelle, I saw the wondering hope in their eyes, search for peace in their silence and moment of happiness…. All the same like us….

It’s quite obvious that I’m supposed to share my enlightening experience of those French days… but may be it’s not worth to recall the moments and paint them the same, but to take the grain and saw one more seed to grow…

A Glitter that is Real GOLD!!


Life was replying very slowly though I was feeling to be an inventor of nature and bustling through a big field where no marked way was…I dropped my BBA classes after reaching the 6th semester with a realization that my soul was never made to be a business learner… I was so afraid to close my eyes and draw the dream to be a fashion designer… that flame was burning in my soul, for that unfinished goal, to reach my destiny… but I was feeling like trapped in a four walled darkroom as if I had any old-liabilities with the sunshine…

May Queen, I met her with a thrust of wisdom in mind and a drawn picture of stairway to Paris, to touch my dream… to be a fashion student in such a place like Paris which itself an art… But I never knew that Alliance will open me so many windows to see the same sight in so many facets…

Yes, Alliance Française, my May Queen, gave me a disclosure in the first day I met her… still love that experience… when I was crossing the out-world through her door and looking to the sky, I saw the light was one step behind to melt in the dark when the birds were getting back to their home… while walking, suddenly looked left as my eyes were caught by so many rich-blended colors… Stopped for a while… got a little bit closer… saw so many vectors, faces, insignias and different sizes of art-words… got it now!! It was the notice board where so many advertisements and notices were pined and most of them were in French. My first feeling was WOW and second feeling was Never seen a confusing notice board like this.

It was looking like a craft that I went closer then got it!!

The previous line was the feeling of that time, but it was actually an art, because she gifted her children such belief to make things look like this.

& I started to glance around, there’s a garden right opposite of the board, I turned around and went to meet those flowers, they were still glowing in the dawn light, the greatest time to perceive beauty, the green leaves were about to sleep with a cover of darkness and those unknown flowers were smiling at me, somehow I felt they were saying me Welcome, I took their greetings and trying to reach the admission office, turned my head saw it was shining with golden illumination… really nice… took a walk and entered, there were so many books and the total room was so vivid with so many catalog paper of different courses… suddenly I saw the office personals were talking with each other in French, I was really enjoying listening them like any beatles number though I don’t know what were they saying…lolz…

Yah!! Someday I’m gonna speak like them… though someone was already there I was enjoying my time to look around of that room, with the bless of my waiting time got introduced with Mr. Shujit, I don’t know how? But he was talking to me like a family member or as if he knows me from so many days, it was my first experience in there which turned my thinking into a believe that Alliance is a fantasy, I took my admission and said to Mr. Shujit “Let me start my French class, everyday I’m gonna come to you for practice.. He said me bienvenue with a enthusiastic smile, I looked at him with a very confused face, then he laughed out and said “now it’s yours, French, it means Welcome” With those words i was really feeling Alliance covered me with her warm and soft fairy-wings… Eternal

Coming back from the admission office, her café bounded me to notice and enter there. So I took a right and stared up simple 3 steps and was about to enter, my eyes contacted with a guy who was clearing the floor, when he smiled at looking to my eyes, suddenly I felt a smooth flow of calm water inside my heart … his eyes were twinkling at me as he cleaned all the germs. Yah!! First time in my life I saw a cleaner to smile with a high-regarded delight… & it was a true happiness with a dedicated sea of respect. Got a little bit of understanding from that 3 second incident… This life is something that we persuade… we carry out to forward… so whatever we are or whoever… the peace is always with us, just we need to knock it out… entered the café with that sudden feeling and trying to find one answer…

Is that because he belongs to Alliance ??

I just pushed the door of café and the strange thing is, it was an ocean of colorful illumination where the lights and darkness were playing hide and seek. When I entered, I felt I’m a traveler of both time and space. My legs were walking such a way as I don’t have any control over it. And my eye-balls were moving so quickly to cover all the beauties as far as possible. There were so many photographs on the wall and they were so alive that I was feeling that I’m exploring the whole world in those valuable minutes. The pillars were painted with a thematic drawing of small fishes and horses. Those artistic chairs, round glass tables, even the left red shaded white cups on that table; it was something like HOW MUCH YOU TRY MY FRIEND, YOU CAN’T FIND ANYTING THERE THAT DOEST CONTAIN AN ART.

Even the persons who were sitting there, colors were also soothing through there eyes, faces. I took a coffee and while looking at them, my eyes went to a mirror where I found my face. You know what, I found those colors were reflecting through my eyes, face. Yes, I didn’t know when she put those unknown colors in my black and white soul. Feeling on that time was, someone is taking my everything without informing me, refining it and again putting it on it’s place.

I sat very calmly and stated to glance. Suddenly my eyes went to a door… outside of the door, it was bright light and yah, its day over there… but how is it possible?? Cause when I came, it was evening, I took my cell phone and saw the time, yah it’s 6:52 pm, How is it possible?? Just left the coffee there and went to discover very eagerly… just before 4-5 second of entering the door I realized Alliance made me fool again… it was the exhibition hall full of eminence … WHAT SHOULD I FEEL NOW??

Bothered??- That I didn’t finish seeing the café properly??

Surprised??- That the exhibition hall is so much live??

Deceived??- That she made me fool again???

By mixing all the feelings I was WONDERED that always I like to be… there was an exhibition was going on of oil paintings. I was alone there. I couldn’t hold myself to explore the artworks…they were so much……. What??? All the arts were started to pierce through all of my sense organs, I don’t know… may be I was hypnotized, I was hearing some footstep sounds, the melody was changing its dimension as I am waling one to another, sometime it was sounding like water bubbles, sometime night-waves and sometime falling leaves. It was the fantasy of those paintings operating my unconscious senses.

And I didn’t feel strange any more, by than I got her language… that’s the way she articulate,

“Wondering and wonderings, what place to rest the search?

The mighty jargon of heart, Hold the heavens from the earth”

And that was the tale of 1st meet of me & my may Queen!